CPR
by Slushie Addict
Summary: Today, Heather Chandler had learnt that CPR can not just save lives, but also learn something new about her best friend. (Alive!Heather C. AU)


Hey guys, Slushie Addict here! Here's another one-shot for you guys! Uh, what else... Oh yeah, I'm doing this because I like happy endings, but unfortunately only AUs can support my version of a happy ending... It kinda restricts my ideas really, but I'm always ready with a slushie in my hand to counter that restriction! Anyways, this is an AU where Heather Chandler is alive after drinking a cup of drain cleaner. Hope you guys enjoy, and I don't own Heathers!

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"H-Heather! Come quick! Heather has...!" Heather McNamara ran up to Heather Chandler, who had recently came back to school after drinking a cup of lethal drain cleaner instead of Veronica's actual hangover mix. As of now, JD was in jail for killing Ram and Kurt while Veronica was attending therapy sessions for all of the 'suicides' she had been a part of. In fact, the only reason why Veronica wasn't in jail with JD was because Heather Chandler told the authorities that she had called Veronica over when she was in a fit of emotions and about to commit suicide, and she had actually prevented her suicide instead of causing it. As for JD, she had gotten Heather McNamara to lie that Veronica was actually stuck in an abusive relationship with him, which half of it was true. As for Heather Duke, she had tried to take over Westerburg during Heather Chandler's absence, and had skipped school for a month after ruling the school for a week. No one really knew why she took a month-long absence, but they were simply satisfied that they could have a normal school life for once.

"Has what?" Heather Chandler asked, her voice now sounding hoarse due to the drain cleaner's side effects. She coughed, her throat feeling itchy but was due to the drain cleaner she was accidentally given. Heather McNamara didn't say anymore, just spouted some intelligible words that Heather Chandler couldn't make sense of. "Heather, what the flying fuck has happened to Heather?!"

"S-She... She's not breathing! W-What should I do?!" Heather McNamara started to sob, making it difficult to get more crucial information out of the head cheerleader. Heather Chandler sighed, making her way to the closest bathroom on their current level. She found it ironic, that bathroom was where they had accepted Veronica into the clique, yet it was also that very bathroom that gave Heather McNamara a place to attempt suicide according to Veronica.

"Heather? Oh fuck, Heather!" Heather Chandler entered the bathroom, only to find Heather Duke sprawled on the ceramic floor. Her body was motionless, and from and glance Heather Chandler could tell that her friend wasn't breathing at all. Heather McNamara entered the bathroom after Heather Chandler, still sobbing away. "Heather, call 911 now!"

"O-Okay!" Heather McNamara dashed off, leaving the two Heathers alone. Heather took a deep breath, trying her very best to calm herself down. She then checked for any signs of danger, only finding a bottle labelled 'anti-depressants'. After ensuring that there was no danger, she decided to check for Heather Duke's breathing, just in case she was actually breathing but didn't show it via body movements.

"Okay, fuck. She's definitely not breathing. Okay okay, let's hope I can still save her..." Heather muttered, using her left fingers to find Heather Duke's sternum. Once it was located, she had placed the heel of her right palm beside her fingers, then placing her left hand over it. She started to compress on Heather's body, counting up to 30 before giving her two breaths. _'Let's hope she doesn't wake up when I'm placing my lips on hers.'_

"I-I've called the ambulance! Is she okay yet?" Heather McNamara re-entered the bathroom, sweating heavily for some reason. Heather Chandler didn't take notice, performing CPR on Heather Duke without stopping. Half an hour went by, and Heather Duke showed no signs of consciousness, which worried the other two Heathers greatly. All of a sudden, she started to vomit, which relieved Heather Chandler. She was then turned to her side, with Heather Chandler patting her back until the vomiting stopped.

"Urgh, I hate this part of the process..." Heather Chandler mumbled as she turned Heather Duke back to her original position, checking her mouth for any foreign objects (or anything in general). There wasn't any, so the compressions resumed. Heather McNamara regretted not attending that life-saving course in junior year, she could have helped her best friend with reviving her other best friend. This time, Heather Duke started coughing.

"Heather! Can you hear me?!" Heather Chandler asked, shaking Heather Duke lightly. Heather Duke opened her eyes, and the first thing she did was to... "Oh thank god, you're awake!"

"What the fuck are you doing here you bitch?! Aren't you supposed to be on life support for all eternity?! God, fate's pretty good at fucking up my life. Bloody fucking hell..." Heather Chandler was _not_ expecting cursing, she had at most expected a reluctant expression of gratitude for saving her life. "Hold up, why am I still here?"

"God damn it Heather, I just saved your life! The least you could do is to thank me." Heather Chandler muttered, secretly relieved that Heather Duke was back to her whiny self. She was about to ask what had happened that caused Heather Duke to faint when all of a sudden, the person in question suddenly vomited. All over Heather Chandler. Needless to say, she was less than pleased. "Yucks! Gross much?!"

"It reminds of that night when Veronica threw up over your shoes!" Heather McNamara commented, elated to see that Heather Duke was alive. The vomiting continued for three minutes, making both Heathers worry if that was the normal reaction after performing CPR. "Is... Is that normal? For her to puke?"

"I'm guessing it's either a gag reflex from her daily purging, or her body is trying to get rid of the toxins."

"Urgh... Why the hell are you hovering above me bitch?!" Heather Duke went back to cursing Heather Chandler's presence, which made Heather Chandler worry if her brain was already damaged by the drug overdose. "Anyways, why the hell did you save me?! I didn't ask for it god fucking damn it!"

"If I didn't, you'll be dead."

"I _want_ to die bitch! What, you think I'm dumb enough to accidentally eat a higher dosage of my medicine?! I want to fucking die already!" Heather Duke yelled, reaching out for the bottle of anti-depressants. "Fuck! I ate them all?! God fucking damn it, now I can only start committing suicide from tomorrow onwards..."

"... You _wanted_ to die? Heather, I always knew you were a pillowcase but this is too much even for you." Heather Chandler replied, surprised to hear that Heather Duke was suicidal. She believed Veronica instantly when she was informed that Heather McNamara tried to overdose on sleeping pills, but that was because she knew that Heather McNamara wasn't exactly stable with all her family issues and failing grades. Heather Duke? Not so much. "Why the fuck do you even want to die anyway? You have decent grades, a good body minus implants, no broken family, what else do you want?"

"Ha! Like those are indicators that I'm not fucked up! Do you know that I've anxiety disorders ever since freshman year?! Do you know how long I've suffered from depression?! Why do you think my attendance for my sophomore year was so bad?! I can't even get out of bed without even taking the penknife on my bedside table and slitting my neck!"

"Should we know why is there a penknife beside your bed in the first place?"

"I use that to cut myself bitch!" More vomiting on Heather Chandler, and she wondered if Heather McNamara had _actually_ called the damn ambulance. Heather McNamara had a sympathetic look on her face, she understood what Heather Duke felt if only to a certain extent. Heather Chandler didn't understand a single thing her best friend had just admitted, but she knew that it was bad timing to say anything to her. And knowing herself, whatever that came out of her mouth would probably lead to another suicide attempt, this time in front of them. "You don't know how damn lucky you are to not experience this fucking hell. You've never been bullied before until you wished that you were never born! You've never taken fifteen hours to get out of bed only for you to brush your teeth and go back to sleep again! You've never tried to wrestle power from a mytic bitch just so that you can shape school life to one that you can live in!"

"I..." Before Heather Chandler could say anything, three paramedics have arrived. "Oh you guys are finally here. Great, take her to the hospital. She just overdosed on her prescriptions."

"Uh yeah, we can only do that if she's not breathing...?" Heather Chandler snapped, and went up to one of the paramedics and gripped his collar, yanking him up to her level. "H-Hey!"

"If we waited till you guys arrived, you'll be carrying a _corpse_ instead of a living human being. Now I want you three, to carry that girl in green, to the hospital, fucking treat her for her drug overdose and then send her to a god damn psychiatrist so that she can have more medicine to treat her fucking cocktail of fucking illnesses!" Heather Chandler seethed, sending the paramedic death glares.

"R-Right." The paramedic nodded in fear, gesturing for his coworkers to escort Heather Duke out of the bathroom and into an ambulance. Heather Duke tried to resist, but one glare from Heather Chandler forced her to comply with the paramedics. Once they had left, Heather McNamara was the only one still in the bathroom with Heather Chandler.

"You know Heather, when I first came back to Westerburg, I was expecting things to go back to the way it was before I... drank the drain cleaner. Not to... hear from Veronica that you attempted suicide and to witness first-hand Heather committing an almost successful suicide." Heather Chandler started, a regretful look in her misty grey eyes. "I'm... glad that Veronica stopped you."

" Aw Heather... thanks for saying that. I can't fully understand how Heather feels since I'm only diagnosed with mild depression, but... I know it sucks to try and survive when you just don't have the will to go on." Heather McNamara replied, bringing her best friend's hand into hers. "I'm actually quite surprised that you didn't say anything mean to Heather, it's... very un-bitchy of you."

"I had half the mind to yell at her for ruining my clothes." Heather Chandler grumbled, looking down at her ruined clothes. "I regret giving her CPR."

"Well at least she gave you a CPR of her own!"

"No she didn't. Vomiting on to someone's clothes is _not_ CPR."

"Yes she did! She cussed, puked, and repeated! See, CPR!" Heather Chandler wanted to slap Heather McNamara for cracking such a joke, but decided to crack one of her own.

"Yeah? I have conducted another form of CPR myself."

"Really? What is it?"

"Cry, pray, repent."

"... That's not funny Heather."

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Hey Slushie Addict here! Uh so, I wanted to make this funny by coming up with many things that can form the acronym CPR, but it just went from sad to sadder huh? Okay it pretty much became serious in the middle but the two Heathers decided that they should lighten the awkward atmosphere by cracking super lame jokes. Maybe I should do a sequel, like 'CPR Reprise'! Okay fuck, bad idea and I'm rambling off again. Ending off, hope you guys like it somewhat and I would love to hear your thoughts on my story! See ya next time~


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